And here is why:

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Stupidly unrelated pic by Ivana Cajina on Unsplash

I am absolutely exhausted of seeing loads of articles about how to write (which would probably benefit me), what to write about (which is just dumb, you should have a what before you start, why start otherwise?) and a long list of tips about how to write for the reader AND I AM DONE WITH IT.

I am not here to please you in any way, shape, or form. I am here to talk about the shit that bothers me (and my friends have threatened me to gosth me if I keep ranting about it). This is the only honest reason (besides having a more tangible way to be sort-of-constant at writing). …


What The Social Dilemma didn’t tell you

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Photo by Sayan Ghosh on Unsplash

Unless you are living under a rock, you have heard of the social dilemma, the new documentary Netflix released about how social media is destroying our life, and a worldwide invitation to have a conversation about it.

There’s been quite a lot of meditation before this story got written. And the price for this is that, as a fast consuming society, this will be late and will probably be outdated by the time it comes out. Nonetheless, perhaps it’s still worth writing and perhaps it will still be worth reading.

The overall documentary is quite good, there is a lot of criticism attached to it, but we will not be discussing it in this story since other writers have already sectioned its content and doing something twice is dumb.


Here’s why

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Bridgerton | NETFLIX

I was scrolling down Medium and an article popped up “Daphne Bridgerton raped her husband and why it’s important to not romanticize it”. I quickly changed from my writing user to my reading user to click on it and read it. And I was astonished. It’s not that I disagree with her premisses, without having watched the show, the way Yia Vue narrates the scene fully qualifies as rape, however, there’s something worth talking about:

The secret ingredient of a rape

Fancy as it may sound, this “missing ingredient” is absolutely terrifying, especially if you’ve been in this situation. It’s not the lack of consensus, it’s not the repeated signaling that you don’t want to enter the sexual act, it’s the fear that keeps you in the situation because the other person is more powerful than you are. …


Or how to claim your free time

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Photo by ŞULE MAKAROĞLU on Unsplash

Binge Watching has become our go-to activity when bored, when tired, when sad. The internet mocks how bad it can get by using it as a verb in articles called “5 TV shows to Binge-watch this weekend”. You might think this is an overdo, binge-watching is not that bad and you enjoy it. Well, be if it may, go ahead, we aren’t judging here.

However, I refuse to give my time to the screen this 2021. Binge Watching has the ability to suck me into a vicious never-ending cycle and I don’t want to be part of it anymore. …


Or how to draw the boundaries you need

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Photo by Giorgio Trovato on Unsplash

We had just arrived from a seven-day hike in the forest. She was dirty, smelly, tired, and her feet hurt, so did I. We just wanted to shower, lay down, cuddle, and sleep. But, that isn’t what happened and you know it. We walked up the stairs and left (perhaps throw with a bit of anger) our heavy bags on the floor and went directly to the bedroom. We lied in the bed, we knew we should get up to go shower, but we pretended to be polite and offer the other one to go first. …


Is a perfectly organized mess

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Love and Anarchy |NETFLIX|

For the first two episodes, we hate Sofie. I don’t think there’s anything else I’ve seen where I’ve been so completely unable to empathize with the main character. She is cold, ruthless, and despicable. Unable to understand the concerns of her daughter, annoyed by her dad, she doesn’t want the job she’s given and what's to get out easily. She wants money and not much else.

But what makes her beautiful is how she is in a pendol from one side to another, she has to decide what she does with her life, either if she keeps on living the life she has build for herself, luxurious, uncaring and easily superficial or rather if she goes back inside herself and finds out how she really wants to live, through feeling and caring way too much about what’s going around her. …


And I like it.

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Photo by Oleg Didenko on Unsplash

This is not about men being intimidated by me, by my wealth (or lack thereof) nor because of my strength or because I’m bossy or successful. I have none of those attributes. I don’t even interact with men in a sexual manner (most of the time). The men that know me, that are close to my circles of friendships fear me because for the last of my adult years I’ve been consistently limiting their behavior.

Let me explain, I’m a feminist, I’ve been since I was sixteen, and even before that, I came from a background where we had more knowledge of feminism than the average. I’m extremely aware of what consensus means and what is absolutely unacceptable. I (and the friends that surround me) have a zero-tolerance policy. This has meant that on more than one occasion the privileges of the men that socialize with me and my friends have been taken away. …


Or what chronic monogamous can take away from an open relationship self-proclaimed expert

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Photo by Sinitta Leunen on Unsplash

I’m 25 and never been in a monogamous relationship. Well that’s a lie, the first relationship I had was, technically, close, but we still dragged other people in the imagination realm of our sex life. We would talk about who we found hot and would like to invite join us, technically we only had sex with each other, but I’m not sure if everyone would categorize it as monogamous.

That being said, if there’s one thing in my life I’ve become a master of, that would have to be handling jealousy in romantic relationships. …


November’s Update

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Photo by Christian Lunde on Unsplash

Do you know what’s the best thing about not sharing my name here? About being completely unknown and having this little cacoon outside my real world? That I can mess up. I can mess it up as much as I want and there are no consequences.

Unlike life. Where it’s about concealing everything that’s being felt and making it look like it’s just fine. And I know, everyone will be screaming and shouting “do what you like” “give up this life if you aren’t content with it” yeah sure, but that’s not so much my situation. There are moments where you are getting from one place to another. That’s where I am. …


And why is so hard to stop

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Photo by Spencer Davis on Unsplash

There’s no such thing as emotional neoliberalism, it’s a term used in my circles, so I’ll try to introduce it with a proper definition:

Emotional neoliberalism

(noun)

Creation of relationships that are only worth investing in if the benefits you get for your own are greater than the inversion in time, emotional involvement, and affection you pour into them.

We know relationships are hard, we have already been bombarded with “10 tips to have better relationships”, “How to get out of a toxic friendship”… But what about how do we choose to create relationships?

Boyfriends and girlfriends you can tell them to fuck off, but friends are a long-term commitment. You have got to stick around in their shittiest moment if you see a spark of the chance they will get over it. Or perhaps not, perhaps you should flea relationships as soon as they become slightly dysfunctional and it’s way too much energy to work on them. …

About

North Black

If I become likable it will be a huge failure, it will mean I no longer shake you in any way, shape, or form. Pic courtesy of Christopher Campbell.

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