Maybe the utopy shouldn't be as much boldness in consensus as more awareness of the other. Really listening to the body language, waiting for an reply to see if you are wanted insted of just splashing your needs.
I've had sex with both cis men and women and I've never gone further than I wanted with a women. There has been more caution and there's always a look out to see if things aren't okay anymore.
I lived in Barcelona for some months and it was incredible the athmosphere that was created that made us feel safe, but more than that, there's a hell lot more awarness than in other places. When men cat call women scream and insult, I've seen full on fights from a grup of girlfriends onto a guy that touched a but he shouldn't have had. But is far away from enough.
The sweet spot Barcelona touches is that it's a very affectionated culture, there's a lot of phyisical contact, but they manage to have very very clear liimits of what is accepted and what isn't without having to give up the warmth in their relationships.
I was planning on writing more about this, I'll comment the story here when I post it :)